Mission: Mind Swap
by Itachilova101
Summary: Tsunade's final attempt at matchmaking and it's a real scoop! What will Neji and TenTen think when their minds are transferred into the other's body? Will they work together to get this fixed or will they take this chance to ruin their reps?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: The next (And possibly final) story for the Mission series! It's NejiXTenTen! XD

* * *

"Weren't those two teammates at one time?" asked Random Villager #1, watching the two people before them squabble. 

"Yeah, they used to get along quite well, too," answered Random Villager #2.

"It's like something came between them," commented #1.

"Hey, I wonder what they're arguing about," #2

"Goofy is a dog!" yelled Neji angrily.

"You don't know that for certain!" replied TenTen equally as angrily. "They don't call him 'Goofy Dog' like they say, "Mickey Mouse'. He could be a platypus for all we know!"

"It's obvious!"

"The only thing that's obvious is that you're assuming something you don't know!"

"Hey, Guys," greeted Lee. "What're you…?" He was cut-off by the evil smirks his teammates were sending him.

"Hey, Lee," greeted Neji. "Ol' buddy. Tell me, Goofy is a dog, right?"

"Or is he something else?"

"… I thought he was a duck?" asked Lee.

"That's Donald."

"Well then, who's the mouse?" he inquired.

"Mickey…"

The green-clad male gasped.

"Everything I've ever known has been a lie!" he exclaimed.

He ran off, crying.

"See what you did?" asked Neji. "You made Lee cry!"

"I did?" asked TenTen. "You're the one that asked him first!"

They continued to argue further on this "very important" issue.

Random villagers 1 and 2 sweat dropped.

"… Maybe I was better off not knowing," stated #2.

* * *

"Hm…" Tsunade mumbled, thinking. "Shizune, come in here." 

Shizune hurried into the office and asked, "What is it, Tsunade-sama?"

"So far, my matchmaking skills have been two-for-two," she told her apprentice. "Seeing as how I'm usually not very good with my gambling, this must be too good to be true.

That's why, I'm proposing a bet."

"Oh?"

"Yes, I am going to try one more time to bring a couple together. If I fail, I win the bet, if

I succeed, I lose the bet."

"Uh… Okay… So, you're rooting against yourself?"

"Exactly."

"Okay, then…"

"Bring Hyuuga Neji and TenTen in here," she commanded.

"Alrighty."

And the brown-haired kunoichi left to find the two shinobi she'd been told.

* * *

"You wanted to see me, Hokage-sama?" asked TenTen, entering the office. 

"Yes," she answered.

Neji, then, entered the office and he and TenTen sent each other death glares while he sat down.

They waited for Tsunade to give them a damn good reason why they were in the same room together.

"Hiya," greeted the blonde. "I have a very important mission for you."

"Does it involve beating Neji to a pulp?" asked TenTen.

"Perhaps," she answered. "It _does _involve blackmailing, embarrassment and, ultimately, reputation slaughtering."

"Wow… I accept it, whatever it is…" TenTen stated, smirking.

"Great!" exclaimed Tsunade. "And there's no turning back because I said so!"

"… I actually have a bad feeling about this," Neji said.

"You had a bad feeling about the sun going away!" TenTen exclaimed.

"I was in my Darkness-Is-Evil stage!"

"Thus proves my point!"

"Alright, alright," Tsunade cut-in. "Meet me at the border tomorrow at noon."

They nodded and left.

* * *

A/N: I know it's kind of short, but I think the randomness of it makes up for it! XD 


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: ... This one, I might have gone a lil too far... I dunno... XD

* * *

Neji and TenTen waited at the border for Tsunade, ignoring each other, until… 

"What's with the panda buns?" asked the Hyuuga. "Trying out for the part of Lulu the Panda?"

"Who's Lulu the Panda?" she asked, her brow furrowed.

"I made her up!" he answered. "Is that so bad?"

"… You really are weird…" 

"Shut up! You don't know me!" 

Then, Tsunade poofed into the scene. She smirked devilishly and said, "Greetings, testing sub- I mean… Uh… People!" 

The two were too busy glaring at each other to notice the accident Tsunade had made. 

"Okay, if you come with me, I'll show you to your mission," she said and began to walk off. 

The two shinobi were led to a large building they never even noticed in the village. Outside of the building, stood a short man wearing a white lab coat, smiling devilishly and rubbing his hands together. 

"Meet Dr. Evil- I mean, Dr… Evilstein…? " 

"Greetings," he greeted, sounding a bit creepy, it sent shivers down the spins of the two shinobi. 

"So, without further adieu, we'll show you your mission," Tsunade stated, leading them into the building. 

They went into a very dark room that was lit by a half-melted candle. It gave just enough light to show the silhouette of a large machine. 

"Wh-What is that?" stammered TenTen. 

"It's a machine," answered Tsunade. "Why don't you two have a seat?" 

The two turned to leave, but the doctor had bolt-locked the door. He approached them and they instinctively backed up until they were both sitting in seats and the other two quickly strapped them in. 

"It'll only sting a bit!" the doctor told them, pulling a lever. 

A bright light blinded the two and they heard screaming. It took them a few moments to realize that it was they that were screaming. 

Then, everything went dark.

* * *

_...What happened? _thought TenTen, sitting up in her bed.

Her head was pounding and she had a sneaking suspicion that something was off. 

She held her head in her hands and fell back onto the pillow. 

She felt hair tickle her cheek and she didn't think much of it. 

_Mom must have undid my hair, _she thought. _I must have collapsed in my training again... I feel so groggy._

She rolled onto her side and noticed how long her hair was. She knew her hair was long, but this was odd! She didn't remember her hair being _this _long! 

She stood to her feet, then noticed the long, muscular, _hairy _legs. 

_Man, I must've forgotten to shave for, like, a week! _she thought, shuddering. 

Then, she heard Hinata knock on the door. 

"N-Nii-sama?" she called. "Father wants to see you downstairs at the table." 

"N-Neji...?" she breathed, then gasped. 

Her voice! What was wrong with her voice?! 

She ran to a mirror that was beside a row of very expensive hair products to see Neji's reflection staring back at her. 

She screamed, sounding like a guy and fell onto her rear. She looked at her hands and arms and saw that they were a lot muscular than her usually toned arms. She looked down at her bare chest to see very many pectoral muscles instead of her small, tea cup-like breasts. 

Hinata rushed into the room. 

"Are you alright, Nii-sama?" she asked. 

"N-No!" she exclaimed. "Where are my boobs?!" 

"... Y-Your boobs?" 

"... H-Hinata, help me! What's going on?!" 

"What are you talking about? I thought men didn't have boobs..." 

She stood, knowing what to do to really see if she was a man... 

She pulled away the elastic band of the plaid pajama pants that were not hers and looked down reluctantly. 

She gluped slightly, staring at the... Um... You know... In her pants. It was so... Small... 

She screamed again and held her eyes. 

Hinata could only stare in shock.

* * *

Neji awoke in a very pink room.

He looked around and furrowed his brow. 

Then, he looked down at his thin, toned body and he became even more confused. Where were all his muscles...? And, also, what were those two lumps in the middle of his chest doing there? 

He looked down the shape-revealing whit tee and blushed. He didn't remember going to sleep with those there. 

He poked at one and winced. They were tender... (A/N: Don't ya hate that, Girls?) 

Then, he noticed a little spot of blood on the bed. 

His eyes widened and he wondered how he could have possibly become injured in his sleep. 

Then, he noticed where the blood was coming from and he yelped. 

It came out as a high-pitched scream and he slapped a hand to his mouth. 

_I didn't know I could scream like that!_ he thought, jumping out of the bed. 

Then, in walked a lady he recognized as TenTen's mother. 

"Ohayo, Nikkou!" she greeted energetically. 

She pointed at the spot of blood on the bed and shouted, "Call a doctor! I'm bleeding from a place blood should _never _come out of! 

Help me, before I bleed to death!" 

He couldn't help but notice how his voice seemed very different. 

"Do you have your time-of-the-month, Dear?" asked her mother with a smirk. "I think you do, you've always goten moody during this time." 

"... Come again?" he asked, his eye twitching. "You mean to tell me it's normal for me to be bleeding out of my... Uh... You know?!" 

"... Did I not talk to you about this?" she asked. 

_Why would you...? _he thought. _First, you aren't my mother. Second, I have no fucking clue what you're talking about! _

So, she sat on the bed, patting the bed for him to sit with her. 

Then, she began. 

Later that morning, Neji passed out from a major nose bleed.

* * *

A/N: Well now... O.o who knew Neji was a perv?

TenTen:Puts up hand: I did!

-.-;


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I dun like this one as much as the others, but, hey, a chapter's a chapter, eh?

* * *

TenTen walked through the village, well aware that people thought she was Neji. She clenched her fists and ground her teeth angrilly.

She didn't remember anything from the day before and she knew that this had to have something to do with Neji, wherever, whoever, he was at the moment.

Then, she noticed herslef, looking equally as pissed, lookinhg for somebody.

Not caring that there were many people there, she yelled, "Neji! I'm going to kill you!"

Neji looked to her, surprised at first, but scowled when he saw whos body she was in.

"Well, TenTen, it seems somebody's pulled a practical joke on us," he said quietly.

"Just tell me what's going on?!" she exclaimed. "I'm sure I fell asleep a female, then I wake up with this tiny little thing!" She pointed to the area in which this "tiny little thing" resided and Neji's face flushed.

"It's not tiny!" he exclaimed. "It's just..."

Neji looked around, then noticed all the looks the two were getting and flushed several shades of red.

They must've looked like complete idiots to the surrounding people!

TenTen brushed past him and began to walk off, the imposter in her body following behind.

"Let's get one thing straight," she said angrilly once they were in a clearing with no people. "There will be no touching my body, getting into fights in my body, having any sexual intercations in my body...There had better not be a single mark on my body!"

"Me?" he asked equally as angrilly. "I should say the same to you!"

"Yeah, right, like I'd want to even look at something so small!"

Then, Neji's face turned to a look of surprise.

"I-It's not small, it's just..."

"Small?" she asked, smirking.

He sighed. Shaking his head, he couldn't help but smirk.

"Let's just say it's... Uh... Small..."

TenTen had to hold her sides she was laughing so hard.

"Now, then, let's split up and try to find something out about what's going on," Neji interrupted her giggle fit.

She nodded, still giggling and they both disappeared.

* * *

"Sakura!" TenTen called, chasing after Sakura.

The pink haired kunoichi turned to her and smiled, saying, "Good morning, Neji-san. Is there a problem?"

"Well- you see, about that..." she stammered. "I'm not Neji..."

Sakura looked at her as if she was the craziest person on earth.

"Oh?" she asked amusedly. "Then, who are you? That dog, Goofy?"

"He's not a dog!" she exclaimed. "Anyway, no. This may seem crazy, but I'm TenTen."

"Are you?" Sakura asked.

"Yes!" she replied. "You believe me?"

"Of course, I believe you, Nej- I mean TenTen," Sakura answered. "Sasuke-kun's being Naruto and Naruto's being Lee right now, too!"

TenTen sighed impatiently, but didn't blow up. She knew this must've been hard to understand.

"What if I told you something only you and I know?" she asked.

"... Let's hear it."

"When we were sixteen, we made a secret handshake so that if anybody impersonated us, we'd know," she said.

"Well, what's the handshake?"

She showed her the handshake and Sakura's eyes widened.

"But- How...?"

"I don't know..." TenTen answered. "I had to meet Tsunade-sama at the border for a mission with Neji yesterday, but I don't remember anything that happened yesterday..."

"... Shishou?" she asked. "Is Neji the same way?"

"He's me," she said.

"I have a feeling that I know what's going on..."

"You do?"

"I'm not certain, but I think so... Come on!"

TenTen followed Sakura through the bustling streets of Konoha until they made it to Tsunade's office where the pink-haired kunoichi threw the door open.

_I think she's the only person that'll be able to get away with being so rude like that..._ thought the panda-like kunoichi.

"You did it again, didn't you?" asked Sakura.

"Uh, me no speakey Japanese!"

Sakura only stared at her impatiently, her arms folded over her chest.

"Did you?" she asked again.

"Did what?" asked Tsunade, feighning innocence. "Oh, hello, Neji-san."

"Hi..." TenTen greeted half-heartedly, not correcting the hokage.

"That's not Neji! That's TenTen!" exclaimed Sakura. "You decided to play Cupid and did something to make them switch bodies, didn't you?"

"Well, I guess I can't deny it," the blonde said. "I had Dr. Evil (A/N: Unoriginal much?) do it."

"Well, can he undo it?" asked TenTen.

"Unfortunately, no," she answered. "Dr. Evil is out for two weeks doing other villain-type stuff with the money I gave him to do this. He's gone!"

"B-But..."

"Sorry, now shoo!"

The two reluctantly left.

"What now?" asked TenTen.

"There's little we can do until this Dr. Evil returns," answered Sakura. "I guarantee this won't be permanent. Sishou has done this sort of thing two times before... She has got to stop sometime..."

"I have to stay like this for two weeks?!"

"I'm sorry, but yes..."

"Great..."

So, TenTen started for "home", pouting.

* * *

A/N: Me no speakey Japanese! XD 


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Hiya! So... Chappie four, eh? Well, I guess I shouldn't keep you from it, you think? Okies! Here we go:Cracks knuckles: Ow... T.T

* * *

TenTen had a plan. You didn't honestly think she would go through those entire two weeks without doing _something _to ruin her former fiance's rep, did you? (A/N: Yep, I said it, former fiance!) 

She walked through the village with a sly smirk on her face. Then, she found the man she was looking for.

"Oh, Lee!" she called flirtaciously. (Of course, looking like Neji, this was a bit odd to the bystanders that were standing... by... Yeah...)

Lee turned to Neji, looking a bit confused.

"Lee!" she exclaimed again, taking one of the very green ninja's hands and kneeling on one knee. "I just _had _to tell you! I've loved you ever since that day you said you wanted to be a splendid ninja! Oh, Lee, take me now!"

Lee... Well, he got little herts in his eyes and had to get a blood transfusion because of the nosebleed he got.

And, what of TenTen, you ask? Well, she carried on to her next unsuspecting victim.

* * *

Neji had a plan. You didn't honestly think he was going to go through all this without doing a few little things to ruin his former lover's rep! (:Gasp: I sense some major uh-oh's on Itachilova's part for spillin' such a big secret!) 

He went to Lee and said, "Hey, Lee-san," in a very flirtacious voice.

He seemed odd. Like he had blood loss or something.

"Hey, Lee-san," she greeted again. "Twenty bucks an hour, whaddya say?"

"Sorry, TenTen-san, but I'm with Neji now!"

"... Y-You're WHAT?!?"

Neji ran off in search of TenTen.

* * *

He found TenTen confessing her love as him for... A... Tree? 

Several people were watching in either amusement or confusion as "Neji" made out with the tree that "he" had "fallen in love with".

The real Neji took TenTen by the back of the shirt she was wearing and started to drag her away.

"We need to talk, _Neji_." he stated.

"Uh... Can we after my date?" asked TenTen.

"... What date?"

"With Lee," she answered. "He seems to have taken a real liking to... Me... As you!"

Neji grumbled and said, "No."

"Aww, but he was _so _looking forward to it!"

"Well, boo-fucking-hoo," he replied, taking out some rope he'd found and tying TenTen to a chair. "Now then, stay here while I ruin your life like you ruined mine..."

"Ooh, I didn't know I did _that_ great of a job!" TenTen exclaimed, smirking. "All aboard! Neji's ruined life!"

"... And Next stop, Neji's awesome revenge!" Neji replied, walking off.

* * *

_Hm..._ _What to do, what to do... _thought Neji. 

"Ah-ha!" he exclaimed, spotting Sakura.

He raced to her and exclaimed, "Oh, my dear Sakura, leave Sasuke and love me!"

"... Hey, Neji," Sakura greeted with an amused smirk. "Out to ruin tenTen-san's life, I see."

"B-But... How did you know I was Neji?" he asked, tears welling in his eyes.

_All aboard, Neji's failiure... TooT Toot... _

"Oh, I'm psychic!" she told him. "I know exactly who you are and what you're trying to do."

"Really?!?" he exclaimed, his eyes wide with excitement. (Talk about easilly amused... -.-;)

"... No..."

"Oh..."

"TenTen told me what happened and we're going to have it fixed in no time! Well, actually, in about a week-and-a-half."

"I see..."

"Yep..."

"Well, I'm gonna go break some shit in TenTen's body! Bye!"

And, just like that, Neji took off in a flash.

_Well... They seem to be enjoying this... _Sakura thought, walking off with a chuckle.

* * *

A/N: Likee? No likee? Tell me in a review! XD 


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: FINALLY!!! I am so sorry I took so long to update! I was just so blocked! Which brings me to a new topic... Thank you to Rikku 92 for the awesome update and the beta, too! XD

* * *

Neji, as TenTen, skipped through the village, carrying a bucket of paint and a paint brush. He only stopped either to vandalize or to flirt with the other males in the village.

While he was painting on the side of Hokage Tower, a big mural of Tsunade with fangs and a speech bubble that said, "I am Hokage,  
F33R M3H!!!", a chuunin caught him and… He burst out laughing. 

"Great job, TenTen!" he exclaimed between laughter. "That's the funniest thing I ever seen!" 

_  
Dammit! _He inwardly cursed. _Looks like it's time for plan B… _

He took the paint brush, dunked it into the bucket, and then thrust it outward until it connected with the chuunin's face. 

The chuunin stopped his laughing and looked surprised. He then, blinked and yelled, "Funny or not, I am going to KILL YOU!!!" 

"Oop, gotta go!" Neji exclaimed, and then ran off, bucket and brush in hand. 

The paint, spilling out of the bucket as he ran for his dear life, hit walls, the ground, even people! 

Then, Tsunade showed up, looking impatient and short-tempered, as usual. 

… _I don't think Tsunade-sama knows I'm actually Neji… _he thought. 

He took the paint bucket and tossed the last of its contents at the blond Hokage. 

She, at first, looked totally shocked, but her surprise was short-lived as she became furious. 

"NEJI!" she yelled, took Neji by the ear and drug him back to her office.

XOXO 

"I-I didn't know you knew," Neji stated, worried for his life. 

"TenTen didn't tell you?" asked Tsunade, wiping her face with a towel. 

"No," he answered. 

"Well, then, where is she?" she asked. 

"Um… Well… That's, actually, a very good question because… Um…" 

"WHESHI!!!" the two heard a male voice call up awkwardly. 

"… You didn't… What did you do?" 

"Not guilty?" 

Then, a gagged Neji with ropes tied around him hopped into the room, looking like he was out for blood. 

"Um… I can explain," Neji stated, looking a little embarrassed. 

"Oh? I'd like to hear this one." 

"Well, you see, there was all this lovey-dovey crap that TenTen started between Lee and I and I got angry. Desperate times call for desperate measures, right?" 

"You kidnapped her, tied her up, gagged her… All because she made you look like a homosexual?" 

"Uh, yeah, but… I-It's made a lot more sense in my head…" 

"The whole mind swap thing must have screwed with your mind," commented Tsunade. 

"Mo, he's aways bim wie hat," TenTen managed to say, not sounding very coherent. 

"Neji, untie her so we can actually understand a goddamn word she's saying…" 

So, Neji did as told and TenTen jerked back her arm to punch the Hyuuga's lights out, but was stopped by Tsunade. 

"Listen to me," she commanded. "I have had enough. I'm going to get you two out of this thing as soon as possible, but...!" 

_  
Uh-Oh... _thought Neji and Tenten in unison. 

"You two must fall in love with one another before the antidote will work," stated the hokage. "If you do not fall for each other, you'll be stuck like that permanently." 

"... Why didn't you tell us this before?" 

"... Uh, because... That's a very good question..."

_Damn... Think of something, Tsunade! _she thought.

"Because... I felt... Like... Making you two sqirm?"

"Hm... Makes sense," commented TenTen.

"It does? I mean, of course, it does!" exclaimed Tsunade. "Okay, off you two 'lovebirds' go! Taw-Taw!!!"

And the two walked off, very reluctantly walking side-by-side...

* * *

A/N: XD 


End file.
